A CONTEMPLATIVE PERSPECTIVE
ON 2010
This photo was taken recently in the field opposite Casa Camino.
It looks like … ? A Christmas card? or …?
On one level, it is a ‘nice scene’ well suited to being a card.
But on other levels…
Yes, the clue is in the word ‘levels’…
Or perhaps, steps… or stages… or …
Take time to contemplate the scene.
Let your eyes wander over the landscape.
Be open to seeing what is there.
Slowly, let your eye – the eye of your heart – climb from the bottom, left hand
side of the scene to the
Rest at the top of the hill. Take time to be there.
When you are ready, begin to descend… with watchfulness
CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER 2010
As the year began, so it is ending - with deep snow and blue skies. Beautiful to look at but, after 4 weeks of such white magnificence, perhaps we need a little respite? Risking a mortgage on a ‘spacious bungalow' in a semi rural setting, just off the motorway, seemed like a good idea at the time! However, like everyone else in the country, we have battled to cope and do the things we take for granted. Ruth has spent countless hours and lots of energy shovelling snow and sawing wood for our log burning stove – a blessing when the power supply proved unpredictable. Nature has been reminding us that we are not always in control…
But, we begin this Newsletter hoping that you have all managed to stay warm and been blessed, as we have, in the number of angels – in all sorts of guises - who have popped up to help just when things seemed too much. For our heroic, ever helpful neighbours; for the farmers who kept our lane manageable in awful weather; for friends near and far; for our brothers in Aberdeen and Germany; and for all who encouraged and inspired us this year: your time, talents and support are greatly appreciated!
But, angels are not just for Christmas! Ruth had an encounter with this angel (Gabriel) in a church in the beautiful French town of Le Puy, as she set out on what may be the first stage of walking the Camino. Accompanied by our friend Gavin, with the blessing of our friend Paula (his wife) the intrepid pair reached their destination – Conques – some 350 kilometres and 11 days later. A real sense of joy and exhilaration kicked in and Ruth felt she could have walked and walked… However, she returned to sunny Scotland, via a stop-over in Paris (thanks to other friends’ kindness) feeling truly blessed by the many pilgrims she met en route and the beauty of the countryside. The journey mattered; the destination, Santiago in Spain, is still some way ahead.
There may be one famous Camino but, as Barbara can testify, there are many different ways of making the journey in daily life. Barbara’s preparation for her Camino began in 2009 with 2 sets of 3rd degree burns and continued into 2010 with the burns still remaining stubbornly present and a pressure sore deepening and collapsing into a channel inching its way towards her right hip bone. Not satisfied with this challenge, she then developed an abscess near the original wound. This had to be dealt with before the long awaited and thrice postponed admission to hospital in mid September to have reconstructive surgery. The final stage of this personal Camino was travelled over 4 weeks at St John’s Hospital, Livingston (near Edinburgh). And yes, there were hard and painful phases; times of wondering if the surgery would be successful; times of set-back (when the scar wanted to re-open) and times when things physical and psychological were just plain awkward! But, without doubt, it was also a deep, unforgettable experience of love, care, support and resurrection. Surgeons, nurses, friends (some of whom she hadn’t seen for a while) and family - all are worthy of a medal. In many ways, it was a journey of re-discovery, over familiar territory but with new eyes and a revitalized mind-set. And whatever 2011 brings, there is a sense that it has already been partly shaped by those 4 weeks; in reality, by those 18 months!
While walking stage one of the Camino figured highly in Ruth’s year, she was also a director on two Retreats in Daily Life in Edinburgh and involved in two other memorable events in Ireland. In January and again in November, between and before the snow, she directed and presented two retreat days and a shortened week of guided prayer. It was to Hope House, Co Mayo, that she travelled to offer days of reflection. Participants were introduced to the practise of meditation through body awareness and movement, and to the gift that is to be received in walking the Labyrinth. Courtesy of one of Ruth’s friends, a portable labyrinth was sent ahead to Ireland. As others have discovered in recent years, walking the labyrinth (a practise well within the Christian tradition) can be a profound experience. Thanks to a friend's encouragement and organisational skills, and with deep appreciation of the beauty and hospitality of Hope House - not forgetting others whose donations made the events possible - Ruth returned in great heart, knowing her gifts had been well used. It seems further invitations may be in the pipeline. While in Ireland, she was also delighted to re-connect with other friends, managing a visit to the community at Holy Hill, courtesy of our friend Patricia.
It has been an abiding feature of our life over the years to welcome and enjoy the company of people who are in recovery from addiction. And, this summer we welcomed to the new house our ‘old’ friends from AA groups in the west of Scotland. They brought with them some new faces and together we spent a quiet day ‘Making Conscious Contact with our God’ – a theme that the members themselves had chosen. We were thankful for their tremendous openness and willingness to share from the heart and for their support – they too sent beautiful flowers and cards when Barbara was in hospital, a sign of their empathy with those needing tangible encouragement.
Encouragement comes in many forms. Often, it comes in small touches and chance conversations, in connections made that can’t be analysed but are nonetheless real. Some of those conversations have led to new friendships and collaboration. 2010 saw our connection with the community at Emmaus House grow, and Ruth and Barbara are to be found there at least twice a month offering spiritual direction in the bright meeting room. Truly touching and inspiring was the celebration held there on 6 August, the 50th anniversary of the founding of the ecumenical Community of the Transfiguration.
Members Fr Roland, Fr John and Sr Patty were aglow with joy and thanksgiving. Thanks to Fr Gero SJ, friends old and new gained fresh insight into the life and development of this prayerful community. While age and frailty have caught up with Fr Roland in recent times and necessitated a move from his beloved hermitage at Roslin, he lives only a stone’s throw away from Emmaus House, with the Little Sisters of the Poor across the road.
Also emerging from our connection with Emmaus House, was our introduction to Amanda and Graham (Battleship Design) whose gifts and patience took us through the technical minefield of setting up a website! We provided the content and they breathed life into it so that it is now as you find it! It is our hope that we can keep posting news, views and information on a regular basis, drawing people to the house for Quiet Days and times of Retreat. The design process itself gave us insight into the long hours and hard work that lies behind every website we visit!
Though the challenges of unpredictable weather and health were very much present this year, we did begin to welcome new people to the house; several had retreats with us, either over a weekend or for an individually guided 8 day retreat. We hope to welcome others during this coming season, offering them the opportunity to take time out as we travel from winter into spring. And, it is good to see people coming to the house for Spiritual Direction, Body Awareness and Life Coaching. Many are surprised to find that Casa Camino is so easy to get to – easier to reach, and quicker, than a journey through cities like Edinburgh or Glasgow! We are a mere 12 minutes from the Forth Bridge and 25 minutes from the airport.
In December, we hosted a very successful ‘quiet day’ for those wishing to take time to reflect on the year now passing. In ‘Harvesting Hope’ we provided a pack of material we put together to help orient people and give them some pegs on which to hang their thoughts or reflections. As well as the Oratory, the guest rooms were available for individuals to work on their material or to meditate. A quiet lunch, with seasonal music, was provided in the dining room and tea/coffee making facilities were available throughout the day. In the afternoon, there were opportunities to meet with a guide for a short session. And, after a brief final period of sharing and blessing the ‘harvest’ in the Oratory, as in the morning we gathered in the sitting room for tea and coffee in front of the log-burning stove. An atmosphere warm in all senses of the word!
Ho
As in all years, there is good and sad news. 2010 saw the death of a friend's son, who was only months off his 50thbirthday. At this time of year we think especially of his wife and young family. We also said ‘au revoir’ to our great friend Sheila Lyon. Barbara first met Sheila in 1986 and together they had many adventures and wide-ranging conversations. There were no intellectual or theological cul-de-sacs on Shelia’s journey – and this remained so until she was too frail to initiate conversation. But, to the end, her smile and positive attitude brightened the world around her. Alongside Sheila’s niece Catriona, Barbara was honoured to offer a eulogy at the end of a requiem Mass made so memorable thanks to Kim Edgar’s musical gifts, Fr Hugh’s homily and the love and generosity of Sheila’s extended family.
The Feast of St Patrick brought good news when our friends Paul and Roseanne were summoned to hospital so that Paul could receive a much needed kidney transplant. A transplant has a direct effect on the individual recipients life, but it also has a life-giving effect on the person’s wife! Paul, we know, is very grateful for this gift of renewed health. And we, his friends, are grateful to have him back to normal. He is one in a million and, with Roseanne, has been a super support to us over the years. And, before her death, he was all that Sheila, though unmarried, could have wished for in a son…
As write, we are conscious of the ‘constant’ friends in our lives. We are especially aware of friends who are ill or who are feeling on the fragile side at this time. We think too of our friends the Augustinian sisters at Boarbank, at St George’s Retreat, and at Dove Cottage; the friars of Scotland and England; and all in the Society of the Sacred Heart whose encouragement we value so much. We remember too our former Bishop, Vincent Logan, who recently announced his retirement from Dunkeld Diocese – may he know better health in 2011. And there are others whose names and needs we hold in our hearts… you are not forgotten!
In the wider world, we continue to deplore the waste of human life in acts of war, terrorism and injustice; with many, we were appalled by the havoc wreaked by the earthquake in Haiti and the floods in Pakistan; however, we were in awe at the rescue of the miners in Chile; Scotland and England welcomed Pope Benedict on a successful state visit, and, in November, we were finally able to rejoice at the release of Aung San Suu Kyi in Burma; above all, we were thankful for each individual whose actions and dreams made a difference!
For, ‘Where there is beauty apparent, we are to enjoy it; where there is beauty hidden, we are to unveil it; where there is beauty defaced, we are to restore it; where there is no beauty, we are to create it.’
(Robert McAfee Brown)
With this thought, we send you our love and every good wish for a healthy and peaceful 2011,
Barbara and Ruth
Of Gold, Grain and the Harvest of Wholeness
As Carl Gustav Jung said – there is gold to be found in our shadow side; in fact, he saw the shadow (all that we judge bad and reject) as being, potentially, 90% gold.
We can look upon this gold as the grain still to be harvested and gathered in to make the ‘one loaf’ of our life in its wholeness; the ‘one loaf’ we will share today symbolizes our healed, integrated self. But, how can we describe this process of gathering in the grain and the grapes, to make this one loaf and this one jug of wine? Some words we use may be familiar – healing, hallowing, salvation; other terms less so, such as coming into wholeness, transformation or individuation …
As people engaged in receiving or giving spiritual direction, we are both a priestly and a pilgrim people. We share in a common priestly vocation by accompanying those who, like us, are pilgrims ‘on the journey.’ We are priestly by virtue of offering ourselves and our gifts: especially the gift of contemplative listening, the fruit of our own journey in prayer. And, yes, it takes time to become fruitful – but, we are in the process of becoming: through our commitment to the sowing of the seed, the sifting of the grain and the harvesting.
Together, as fellow pilgrims and guides, we engage in the activity of sifting the soil of daily living. How do we do this? Perhaps using the Ignatian practice of the examen of consciousness? Or by the discernment of spirits prior to making a decision? These are just two ways we can begin to work with our shadow, panning for gold. And the grains of gold lie in the unlikeliest of places… buried in the hidden, yeasted presence of God, in every nook and cranny of our lives. And, as every grain and grape is needed to form part of this one loaf, this one jug of wine, we too are needed. All matter.
We grow, as grapes, from branches on the One Vine. From this Vine we know as Christ, we draw our nourishment, our sense of ‘oneness’ and union. However, if you’ve seen vines in winter, their branches all gnarled and twisted, seemingly withered beyond recovery, you might think they were incapable of producing new life. But they do! This in itself seems a miracle of nature. But, think of your own journey; think of the journeys we travel with others…
By accompanying a person, by being on the alert for the missing grains – the gold to be sifted from the shadow – we find ourselves rooting deeper and deeper into the Mystery of who we are and who God is for us. And, we can come to see ourselves within this Mystery, recognising ourselves as immersed in that Divine Otherness that calls us into being, loving us into the realization of our wholeness.
It was over 16 centuries ago that Augustine, Bishop of Hippo, told new members joining the Christian community that in responding ‘Amen’ to receiving a share of the one loaf and one cup, they were saying ‘Amen’ to their own mystery. Today, when we receive and share food and drink, we too are giving our assent to who we are in God’s eyes. Without denying our shadow still being worked with, still being embraced, we are invited to say ‘yes’.
But in giving that assent – our ‘YES! to the wholeness that lies within us – we are commissioned to go out to others and to the world. In becoming what we receive, we grow into awareness that the loaf and the wine cannot be whole or real without the gift of your presence and my presence. In what we might be tempted to think of as very ordinary or practical ways, we too can become real food, real drink, for others. We can become the food of love, encouragement, neighbourliness; the food of spiritual companionship. What we are given is not given to hug to ourselves but to share. We have a personal mission to live or discover. As people inspired by the active imagination of Carl Jung and Ignatius Loyola, we cannot neglect the call to mission. What we, and they, received is grounded in its being shared.
We are grounded too by recognising our own neediness. Yes, we give of ourselves but we also need to receive from one another. We have a shared hunger - for nourishment to keep us faithful to the journey, for the wine of longing fulfilled. And, truly, we cannot give what we do not have. Branches as we are of the One Vine, we are encouraged to seek out what we need to grow, trusting that we are held in love and will come into our wholeness.
Each day is another opportunity to ‘Be what you see and receive what you are.’ (St Augustine).
So, let the real work begin!
HOMILY – given by Barbara Buda, at the concluding service of the Epiphany Group Conference,
Dunblane, Scotland, 27 Nov 2010
(Conference Theme: ‘The Healing Imagination in C. G. Jung and Ignatius Loyola'
Presenter: John Knowles)
From Bl John Henry Newman, on personal vocation...
God has created me …
God has created me to do Him some definite service;
God has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another.
I have my mission – I never may know it in this life, but I shall be told in the next…
I have a part in a great work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.
He has not created me for naught.
I shall do good, I shall do His work; I shall be an angel of peace,
a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it,
if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling.
Therefore I will trust him.
Whatever, wherever I am, I can never be thrown away.
If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him;
in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him;
if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him.
My sickness, or perplexity, or sorrow may be necessary causes of some great end, which is quite beyond us.
He does nothing in vain;
He may prolong my life, He may shorten it; He knows what He is about.
He may take away my friends, He may throw me among strangers,
He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide the future from me – still He knows what He is about.
A quote worth sharing... and some questions to ponder...
Just the other day, I came across this quote from Bl Pope John XXIII: [we need] "to dedicate ourselves to that work which our era demands of us... remembering that we are not on earth to guard a museum, but to cultivate a flourishing garden of life."
It made me pause. And ask myself a few questions...
Looking broadly at my life, can I name the museums I am currently guarding...?
What do I personally get out of guarding them?
If I stopped being a guard, what would I lose?
What would I gain?
What might I discover... or rediscover?
What in my life's garden is calling out to be allowed to flourish?
Book Reviews...
'The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page' - St Augustine
Since setting out to write book reviews - most satisfyingly for Desert Call, a beautifully produced quarterly magazine from the Spiritual Life Institute - I have enjoyed delving in the layers of this quote.
The relationship between reading and traveling, between the solitary engagement with a good book and the expanding horizons of journeying, is a boundless - or boundary-free - source of inspiration and life-giving energy.
At present, our little community is 'on camino' in diverse ways... Ruth, actually walking the walk somewhere south of Le Puy, in France, with our friend Gavin. And me? Well, following 2 false starts, I am preparing yet again for a much needed and long awaited operation later this month. Whether outer or inner, journeying is the theme of the moment. Thresholds of patience and perseverance are crossed and re-crossed, sometimes on an hourly basis... Plans and projects bend, give way, re-emerge - startling in their new-found simplicity. The 'what' that functionally defined life yields to the 'who' that has always been at the core, albeit the hidden core, of the action. It has been my experience that, where possibilities for activity are temporarily closed off, the eco-system necessary for the rediscovery of the unconditioned self recovers, comes back into play. False starts, paths we didn't choose but which chose us, reveal treasures not guessed at; deep within the book, on the inner camino, the world opens up; wild and wondrous landscapes are there to be regained and rejoiced in. Whether out in the open, walking the walk, or ensconced in a sitting room turning the pages, the book is being written; the camino gradually, subtly, unfolds...
Books for and about journeys...
Sacred Threshold: Crossing the Inner Barrier to a Deeper Love – Paula D’Arcy
Delivered in time to be read while crossing the doorway between one year’s end and another’s beginning, Paula D’Arcy’s ‘Sacred Threshold’ could not have been a more stirring ‘wake-up call’ at the dawn of 2008.
A Crossroad Book / Crossroad Publishing Company
ISBN-13: 978-0-8245-2465-4 / ISBN-10: 0-8245-2465-9
Books for the Camino...
“People travel to wonder at the heights of the mountains,
at the huge waves of the seas,
at the long course of the rivers,
at the vast compass of the ocean,
at the circular motion of the stars,
and yet they pass by themselves without wondering…”
(St Augustine)
Question: What do Joyce Rupp (an American nun), Hape Kerkeling (a German alternative comedian) and Nicholas Luard (the English co-founder of Private Eye) have in common?
Answer - not only have they completed the entire 'Camino' but have written absorbing books sharing insights into the experience. While it is true to say that books on or about the Camino are being published in industrial quantities these days, some are gems - too precious to be lumped in with the mass. Of those we have read recently, the following are personal favourites: their authors, people who have truly paused to wonder...
'The Field of the Star' by Nicholas Luard (1998) - Named the 'Emperor of Satire' by one newspaper, Nicholas Luard - bon viveur, conservationist and natural raconteur - completed his pilgrimage in three stages, accompanied by his sister and a family friend. Behind, and alongside, walks the charismatic presence of his daughter Francesca, diagnosed with AIDS and terminally ill. That the pilgrimage is being undertaken for her and, on the third stage, in thanksgiving for her life, undoubtedly adds an exceptional poignancy to the account. Beneath the wit and the wisdom of the work as travelogue cum journal, lies a deep search for meaning and an implicit but urgent plea to let loved ones know they are loved before it is too late. For all his roguish unpredictability and limitless capacity for good red wine - or perhaps because of it - Luard is an earthed contemplative who writes compellingly of what it can mean to allow love and loss to shape and re-shape the inner contours of the human heart while putting one foot in front of the other and simply getting on with the journey.
'The Camino poses a single question to each of us: "who are you?" ' And so begins 'I'm Off Then - Losing and Finding Myself on the Camino de Santiago' by Hape Kerkeling (2006) a pilgrimage actually undertaken in 2001. Described as 'overweight, overworked and disenchanted' Hans Peter Kerkeling - to give him his full name - is a talented and popular 'alternative' comedian in Germany. Taking time out - and fascinated with the big question of who is God - he quickly decides to begin with the smaller question first: 'who am I?' As the route to Santiago unwinds, and he comes face to face with his own reality, meeting himself in his limitations as much as in his triumphs, he ends up knowing himself better and also God at the same time. Reflecting back on his pilgrimage and on all that has happened along the way he makes a telling observation: 'In our Western world, which is practically devoid of spirituality, we suffer from a lack of ritual. The Camino is a ritual that offers a genuine opportunity to take up a challenge. Every one of us needs something to hold on to, but the only stability comes from letting go... I realize that God kept tossing me into the air and catching me again. We encountered each other every single day.' And, every single entry in his journal ends with an 'Insight of the Day' - nothing pious or pompous; just a simple, honest, one line summary. A book to treasure.
If Hape Kerkeling's 'I'm Off then...' suggests an almost casual or spontaneous decision to go on pilgrimage, Joyce Rupp's 'Walk in a Relaxed Manner - Life Lessons from the Camino' presents a very different picture. Here is someone of an older generation, a well known author, nun and spiritual guide to millions of other 'pilgrims'. With Tom, her soul-friend/priest companion, the pilgrimage is carefully researched, planned and prepared for. Rucksack contents are weighed and sifted, training is undertaken and a daily framework agreed whereby each has time together, time apart and time to share the spiritual and social aspects of the adventure. Each chapter represents a separate 'life lesson' offered with humility and rooted in the lived experience of walking the Camino. In all truth, we learn as much about the plumbing in pilgrim hostels as we do about the inner movement of the Spirit. The lessons - we may hazard a guess - are sometimes hard won. But, the sheer fidelity of each to the journey, and the process, commands our respect. There is much that repays careful attention - on offer, the distilled wisdom of a life lived consciously and creatively, shaped by a religious formation both gritty and graced. And, beyond the destination of Santiago, beyond even Finisterre (land's end to the ancients), a surprising post-script...
A Book for the inner Camino...
Setting out on a journey, weighing the contents of your rucksack and keen to take a guidebook for your inner path? Perhaps this one is for you? It happens to be the 'spiritual book' we have recommended more than any other over the last two years...
'Into the Silent Land: the Practice of Contemplation' - Martin Laird
Every ten years or so, a small book appears and slips into the mainstream of life: it is simply 'there' to take up and read, or disregard. But, gradually, thanks to word-of-mouth recommendation, it becomes what it was always meant to be: slow food for the soul, a contemporary 'classic'. 'Into the Silent Land'is the latest such offering on the table of life. To those who know their need and are alert to what gives lasting nourishment, this little book - just the right size for pocket or rucksack - has an almost sacramental capacity to bless and confirm, to lure and encourage.
After all, 'God does not know how to be absent,' declares Augustinian friar and author Martin Laird. Inviting us to journey with him 'Into the silent land' he sets out to describe a spiritual landscape with which we so often struggle but within which we are created to thrive. In the company of a guide on intimate terms with people as diverse as John of the Cross or James Joyce - or as compellingly human as Teresa of Avila, Augustine of Hippo or the Welsh priest-poet RS Thomas - we can recover the practice of contemplation by which we come to know ourselves as we really are: nothing less than love outpoured.
Lest this seem too abstract or only true for certain 'special' people, we are reminded that the sense of separation from God and one another is the great lie. Thanks to the constant video of noise and distraction passing before us, we allow our attention to be stolen and the awareness of our deepest identity erased. We forget the simplest of truths: we are already one with with God. 'All we need is to experience what we already possess.' But, like the deep-sea fisherman, we are blinded by ignorance: we insist on 'fishing for minnows while standing on a whale!'
However, 'it is the gift of the Christian contemplative tradition to address this problem by exposing the lie' and introducing stillness to the mental clutter. By drawing wisdom from the treasure house that is the Christian mystical path - in stories and images both practical and poetic - Martin Laird reaches out to us through his own distilled experience, wearing his profound learning with elegance. Whether beginner or long-term pilgrim, he does us all a great favour by pointing out that it is only by letting go the 'paste-up job' we call 'self' that we come to a real flowering of our identity, when our own 'I am' is one with Christ's 'I am.'
Nowhere is this great favour more apparent than in 'The Three Doorways of the Present Moment,' a chapter so lucidly descriptive that we can't help but feel this is the stuff of personal experience. Here, he rightly emphasises that the practice of stillness and awareness, using a prayer word or attending to the breath, are not techniques but skills to be desired, disciplines to be cultivated; not in order to control or determine an outcome, but as preparation for the gift that waits to be given, in the 'depthless depth' of the present moment.
'Into the Silent Land' is simultaneously pole-star and compass, journey and destination. It engages body, soul, heart and mind - all are involved, all matter. There is nothing ethereal about this path, nothing that denies the wonder and mystery of who we are. As the delightful story that is the Epiloguesuggests: the answer to the question 'Who am I?' and 'who is Jesus Christ?' is profoundly simple... but who am I to deprive you of the gift of reading this book for yourself!'
Into the Silent Land: the Practice of Contemplation - Martin Laird
Oxford University Press Inc (US); Darton, Longman and Todd (UK/Ireland)
ISBN 978 0232-526400 / ISBN 0-232-52640-0